Yesterday was the anniversary of my grandmother Amanda Malone’s passing 14 yrs. ago. She was humble dignified lady with a voice like a bell and a giving heart. She taught me so much just by her mere presence not to mention the concise and to the point words of wisdom I was privileged to be privy to. I love her beyond any expressible concept. She gave my mother life! She partly raised me. She loved me.
Her passing was a life changing event for me compounded by a number of other concurrent spurs for disillusionment. Who I was prior to that time was no more. I was broken open and all that was hidden and confined was shaken loose. I discovered gifts stymied by society’s heel on the neck. I discovered that I had been hiding in plain sight for so long. I saw through my comforting illusions. Thusly began my search for truth… again. All the roads led to here and now.
Yesterday was also Bob Marley’s Birthday. Powerful brother… still inspiring and teaching through music and passing comments to this day. His music has been touching my life for a long time. I am so thankful for what he gave.
Now when I awoke yesterday I was not cognizant of the date’s significance. Yet there was such a curiously calm quality to my being. I noticed it. It stood out to me. As I write this now I can still feel it… an almost tangible peace. I call it peace and calm but it is more or less than those. I feel they may just be mere attributes ascribed as appellations to the mere tip of the iceberg. There is much left to be seen. I just know that things are different now.
I can’t say whether one or the other or both events to be commemorated on that date are causes of this feeling. Perhaps they just happen to fall on the same day that something fell away from my being to reveal an underlying aspect of self that has always been there and always will be.
Either way I am thankful.